FML

I don't know if any of you use it, but it can be quite funny.

Anyway, tonight I had my own FML. I'm going to write it in the form of the actual FML website:

Today, I couldn't sleep. After falling into a very light sleep, I woke up to find an arm over me. Feeling loved, I grabbed the arm to pull it tighter to me. It was my arm. I cried. FML.



How pathetic am I ?

I just plugged you, give me money!

So yesterday/last night was awesome.

Calum and I wandered around for a while, just having a laugh.

"Just when you thought your life couldn't get any worse, a zombie calls you a crackwhore."
Hahaha.

We're both going to hell though, as we spent a good hour or so strolling around the graveyeard laughing at the funny names.

Then, we were sat outside the cinema, and a car drove up with company information on the side, so I read it out in an advert-type manner. As the driver got out, I said "I just plugged you, give me money!" Hahaha. It was so funny at the time.

Then, Calum and I sat with cider, having a laugh, and this seagull landed pretty close. So I yelled at it to go away, and it square go'd me! No word of a life, it was the funniest thing ever. Calum and I were literally rolling around laughing.

Anyway, today I had a doctor's appointment. I have swollen glands again. I weigh 9 stone 11. And I've been signed unfit to work for 2 weeks. Joy.

I'm really sleepy, so think I'll go back to bed soon.

KJ

A new conspiracy!!!

Lying in bed this morning, debating getting up, I was also describing to myself my dream, in the hopes of putting it into an understandable context to explain to people, when I stumbled across a conspiracy! This is how it came around:

You know those KFC bucket things that are full of chicken things, right to the bottom? Well, I'm guessing it goes right to the bottom.. I've never had one. Hell, there could be a golden egg at the bottom for all I know. Maybe that's why it's so popular. I've never had one, the world doesn't want me to have a golden egg! Well, fuck the world, I'm gonna get one! Maybe, there's something about the egg that means people can't talk about it until everyone in the world has one! And once I get one, the truth will come out, and the world will change and everyone will be rich! KFC are evil.

That's my conspiracy theory about KFC.

Anyway, back to my dream. It was horrendous.
You know those KFC bucket things? Well, there was one of them in my kitchen. Only, there was, like, a roasted head of a baby pig in it! As well as the mad chicken things covered in grease and sauce and stuff. Think that's bad? Well, upon closer inspection of the bucket, I came across the most disgusting, upsetting thing ever.


A dead, roasted baby.

I woke up and almost vomitted.


My mind is fucked up, seriously.

But, thankfully, it was just a dream. And without this dream, I wouldn't have come across my golden egg theory!!

=]

KJ! My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me! So wont you kill me, so I die happy? says:
I don't like any football.
Sarahhhhhhh.... I got my hands on a miracle. says:
*That's cause you're gay.
*You're meant to like ballet.




Hahahahaha!

I love Sarah. <3

I found my place.

I think it's really important to have that one place. Somewhere you can go to chill out and think on your own.
I had a place when I lived up near Inverness. It was a tiny pebble beach thing by the river, totally secluded. It was gorgeous. I used to go whenever I needed out the house, or whenever I just needed some space to clear my head, or just to chill out.

I've never had a place like that in Ayr. Never. But today, I found it.

I went out a walk, ended up strolling around the cemetery, saw a tree, sat under it, and I knew then that that was my place. I sat for like an hour, just listening to my iPod and thinking, and also non-thinking. It might sound weird to you, but I don't really care. I've found my place, and I know things are going to pick up now.

I should

Probably feel bad. Should, being the key word.
Because, truth be told, I don't. I was honest, and in the long run, it's better to be honest that to lie.

Anywayyyyyyyyy, I have a job interview tomorrow. It's just for a part-time housekeeper, but it'll better than nothing. So, wish me luck, God knows I'll need it.

In other news.... there isn't any.

I'm offskies.

Oh, one more thing:

"Said I'd always be your friend,
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out 'til the end."

Monster! At The Disco

So, a few minutes ago, I was going downstairs to get a drink. Now, picture this -

The hallway is dark, and it's about 4 steps from my room to the light switch.
The washing machine was on.
All of downstairs is dark.
The cupboard under the stairs is slightly open.

2 steps into the hallway, and the washing machine made a noise. In a millisecond, my mind connected that with the darkness and the half open cupboard, and told me:

"There's a monster downstairs!"

I'm 18 for God sake!

It actually took me a few seconds of total fear before I realised how childish I was being.

Seriously, what the actual fuck? A monster?!?!?!

My mind is fun. :)

And I swear to God, I'll find myself in the end!

So I think I'm finally working myself out a bit.
I'm becoming who I've wanted to be for a while. And it's becoming clear that people might not like it. But I'm thinking tough. That wasn't me, before. Yes, you might not like me now. But I'd rather you didn't like me for who I am, than like me for who I'm not.
I'm being true to myself, true to everyone. I refuse to go through life any longer, being someone I'm not.

"I've been thinking of everything

I used to want to be
I've been thinking of everything
Of me, of you and me

This is the story of my life
(These are the lies I have created)
This is the story of my life
(These are the lies I have created)

I'm in the middle of nothing
And it's where I want to be
I'm at the bottom of everything
And I finally start to leave

This is the story of my life
(These are the lies I have created)
This is the story of my life
(These are the lies I have created)
(I've created...)

And I swear to god
I'll find myself
In the end

And I swear to god
I'll find myself
In the end

And I swear to god
I'll find myself
In the end
In the end

And I swear to god
I'll find myself
In the end

In the end [x4]

This is the story of my life
These are the lies I have created
This is the story of my life
Thse are the lies I have created
(I've created)
This is the story of my life
(whispers)
These are the lies I have created...."

I love those lyrics.


I'm done.

Me.

I realised last night:

My life is about me!

It may be selfish, but fuck it. I come first in my life. That's the way it should be. I'm sick of letting myself down to make others happy. I'm sick of feeling like shit and having to pretend I'm happy for other people.

It's all about me!

Productivity!

This week has been very good.

I've applied for 3 jobs (one of them was a hand-written application!!), and got accepted into a course at college.

I feel like celebrating, but as normal, I have no money.

Another Friday night at home. How fun...